Entries from July 2009 ↓

Progress: This week I lost 1.2kgs, taking off the kilo I gained last week and a bit more, which is good, although the rest of the weekend probably did a bit of damage!

Even though I’m currently on a plateau and becoming quite frustrated with my slow progress, every now and again it’s great to look back at where I was and appreciate that I am getting the rewards of all the work I’ve done so far. I had one of those nights on Saturday.

I went to a ball, looking and feeling fantastic in my size 10 dress.  Not that I’m really a size 10, but hey, that’s what it says on the label! And I was a normal size. Not skinny, by any means, but definitely not large either. And when people told me I looked lovely I believed them, and it felt really good! I didn’t feel self-conscious, and I was able to move easily and (sorta) gracefully.

A year ago, I would have gone to the ball, and I would have felt good in whatever I wore, but I would have been self conscious next to the ‘normal sized’ girls and I would have known deep down that I didn’t look good. And I certainly wouldn’t have enjoyed showing off the photos to my work colleagues as much as I did this morning!

So despite my lack of recent progress, I am still going to recognise and enjoy the rewards that I have already earned, while I continue to look forward to the ones still to come, when all the rest of my clothes have that size 10 label in them!

Following the committments I made yesterday, I read through my motivation file last night. The comments that most stood out to me were the positive thinking ones - about turning mopey, craving thoughts around, for example, when craving a chocolate think somethkg like

“Thank god I don’t have to eat that crap anymore” or “Wow, it feels good to resist that craving! each craving is a chance to lose more weight!”

Basically, i need to make a desision about what I am and aren’t going to eat, and I need to veiw that decision as a positive thing, not a deprivation. I need to stop moping!

Admittedly, it is a little harder to think positively in the middle of a dark, stormy winter, but I’m sure I can do it! From now on, I will practice hard at feeling upbeat when I resist cravings. I think this is a choice, and something that I can control.

I gained a kilo this week. In the grand scheme of things, I  know that this is not a disaster - I am still below 70kgs at 69.6.

However, taking into account my graph for the past 10 or so weeks, I can see that my weight has really stagnated since early april when I first went below 70.  That’s four months of little or no loss.

I think I must admit that I am on a serious plateau. I feel very dissapointed with myself, very discouraged and a bit worried that this could be the start of the climb back up into the 80’s. That MUST not happen!

I think that this plateau is due to both physicl and mental factors -

• Physical - my body has adapted to the number of calories I have been eating, and I need to eat less. probably not during the week - I need to control my weekend eating, whereas before I could lose weight just by controling my midweek eating.
• Mental - I have been unable to make the connection and convince myself that I need to change my eating habits. I used to be able to lose weight and still have 4-5  treats a week. I now need to cut that down to 2-3 treats at most, but my brain keeps telling me that I’ll still lose weight if I have that chocolate bar - and it’s just not true! Also, I have not been practicing my notivation daily, I have let old bad habits slip back in.

I wrote a post once before about weightloss being a journey that needs many course corrections I have been in need of a major course correction for some time now, I just have to figure out how to make it. So my goals for this week (which I actually must follow for a change) are:

• Read my motivation file, and make some notes to read every morning and night.
• Increase my excercise by one extra session this week
• No off plan eating on the weekend - except for one night out on saturday (I’m going to a ball!)

I had a very busy week last week, and this week is not likely to be quieter. Howver, i did manage to lose 600g last week, and I’m really pleased. It’s all because I forced myslef to exercise no matter how tired I was.

To prepare for this week, I have made a meal plan with very simple, easy to prepare tried and true meals that I know I will like. I’ve done my shopping, and laid out work and gym clothes for each day on the spare bed.  I find that the more I automate my eating and exercise, the more likely it is to get done.

The one thing I did not do last week was add to my motivation file, and I wish I had. I wish I had at least read it over this weekend, i feel like I will ned it. I will make an effort to do that tonight.

I’m going to be super busy the next two weeks with work, so there’ll only be brief updates here for a while yet.

I gained 0.4kgs this week. Although i had a very busy/social week, it wasn’t the food that let me down, it was the lack of exercise I think.

So this week i’m making a big effort to get that exercise in every day - even if it means carrying my big backpack around to dancing after work.