Entries from December 2008 ↓

This morning a friend of mine sent some photos from the swim that we both participated in on the weekend.

On the day I was feeling really slim, so much better than I had in ages. But in the photos I look just huge. My arms in particular are massive.

I’m feeling a bit down abou this, I will have to work really hard to stay motivated today, which I know is silly but that’s how I’m feeling.

Well, if you’ve been reading you’ll know that much of my motivation lately has been due to not wanting to lose face when being weighed in by the PT weekly.  This week, due to a few barbeques on the weekend, a few too many Vodka Cruisers and a short week (since I weighed in two days late last week) I only lost 0.2kgs at my weigh in this morning.

My flippant “well, at least it’s not a gain” was met by a very stern, “no - that’s not good enough” followed by a lecture. The key points of the lecture were:

• I must learn NOW that everything that goes into my mouth has a calorie value, and to make the best choices.
• The time of year is NO EXCUSE - there will always be social situations.
• Vodka and diet coke or soda would have done just as well without blowing my calories.
• If I don’t develop good habits now the weight will simply come back on later.

He was right. The time of year really is no excuse and I must ingrain these habits now, so they won’t slip later.  Negative feedback is sometimes exactly what you need to keep on track. I’m expected to lose a full kilo this week, and I’m determined to at least be able to report that I stuck to my eating and exercise plan the whole week.

Well, this week I have had another good loss of 0.8kgs, bringing me to 76.8kgs all up. This is well over 5kgs, I’m really pleased!

However, i haven’t had a great weekend. On Friday I did really well at the christmas party, stuck to my plan completely, only to mess up at my parents place that night when my Mum put a bowl of chips (my nemesis!) on the table, and dinner was followed up by apple pie and whipped cream.

Then Sunday I bought myself an icecream on the way to a bbq, as I was getting petrol and it was hot. There was simply no reason for this except it was there, it seemed like a good idea, and I TOTALLY FORGOT I SHOULDN”T HAVE IT!!!

At the bbq I ate 2 sausages in white rolls, instead of the chicken kebabs I had bought with me. Why??? No real reason. I also had another icecream after dinner when it was offered, again, I could easily have turned this down without offending anyone.

Luckily I did quite a bit of exercise this weekend, between the 400m novice swim I did with a friend, and a couple of runs. Still, I’m a bit worried about how my tuesday (tomorrow!!) weigh in with the PT will go.

On the positive side, I moved onto week 5 of the C25K program on saturday. Week 4 is not exactly easy yet, but it’s not gut-wrenchingly hard anymore either week 5 day one went surprising ly smoothly. But week 5 day three is a doozy - it may take me a while to work up to that one!!

Last night, as promised I ‘practiced’ getting up as soon as the alarm went off. I found that a slow 1-2-3-4-5 count, (one count per deep breath) matching each count to an action worked better than a fast count.

So this morning the alarm went off, and yes, I did the counting routine. However, it was FAR from automatic, i had to think about it. I think i will paractice before bed a couple of times each night for a week, and see if it becomes a bit more automatic.

This morning on the Calorie King website a member asked what she should do to get her motivation back. This was my response.

- Do some FUN exercise on the weekend, go hiking with friends, hire a surfcat and sail about, go horseriding or rock climbing. You will feel healthy and motivated to keep going durin the week

- read some motivational stories - there’s some on the Calorie King website

- VISUALISE!!! Close your eyes and ’see’ yourself looking thin and fabulous in that swimsuit or flirty red dress. Picture yourself enjoying a healthy meal. Picture yourself in control and calm at a meal out with friends, enjoying the company without needing to have that dessert. Picture yourself full of energy and endorphins smiling as you step out of the gym after a great workout.

Now picture yourself overweight and bloated, slumped in front of the telly with no energy and a packet of chips in the dark with the flickering light of the telly showing your pasty unhealthy skin…

- read some diet books that focus on the mental aspect of weight loss, like the Thin Commandments, the Beck Diet, Think Slim (particularly reccomend that one) or Fattitude

- make yourself a tape or MP3 with your own voice repeating all your favourite weight loss sayings, like “Start where you stand” “It won’t make me happy, it will only make me heavy” or Nothing bad will happen if I don’t eat that chocolate - but something bad will happen if I do - I will stay fat!” and play it every morning on the train or when you get up or whatever. Include some relaxation techniques and motivation for exercise or whatever you most need.

I think I need to do a few of these myself! especially the visualising. Not that I need motivation just now with the PT weighing me every week. He weighed me this morning (even though my normal day is tuesday, I missed this week) and I had lost 1.3kgs. I was so stoked you can’t imagine! I haven’t seen numbers that low on a scale in years!

When I first began getting up at 5.10am to go to the gym a couple of years ago, it was HARD. Like, really hard. But gradually it got easier, and for a couple of years now I’ve considered it to be a great way to start the day.

But over the last couple of months, I’ve started to slip. I tell myself I’ll exercise on my lunch break, after work, an extra session on the weekend. I tell myself it’s raining, cold, friday, and an extra hour won’t hurt.

In short, I’ve allowed the alarm clock to becom negotiable. This is not acceptable! (said in my very best supernannny voice )

When I first started getting up early, I ran through this exercise a few times, it seemed to help. For those who can’t be bothered clicking through, it involves practising gettingt up - setting the alarm clock for a few minutes later, getting into bed and relaxing until it goes off, then turning it off straightaway and getting out of bed.

Tonight I will run through this three times. I think I will try a catchphrase, maybe counting to five firmly, 1-2-3-4-5 with the following actions.

1- Alarm OFF

2- Push back covers

3- Feet on the floor

4- Stand and stretch

5- Smile and go.

Like I said, I’ll run through this three times tonight and see if it sticks tomorrow morning, and then keep practicing each night until it becomes a habit.

I must remember - the alarm clock is NOT NEGOTIABLE!

After my great week last week, I am feeling very motivated! I have had a good couple of days and stuck to my plan for the week quite well, despite being quite grumpy yesterday. Today I made it to the gym despite several obstacles - my alarm didn’t go off, so i woke up late, but decided to go in my lunch break. (I hate the gym at lunch time - so many people!) Then I had no socks when I got there, but rather than give in and leave I went and bought some from a nearby store and went back. I’m glad I did now, although it was hard at the time.

This weekend will be a challenge though, with a staff Xmas party friday afternoon, Dad’s birthday friday night, a swimming race saturday morning (temptation to treat myself after) and a party Sunday afternoon.

My plan to get through it is to exercise Friday morning, and at the Xmas bbq have only two drinks (I’ll be driving anyway) and stick to chicken and salad at the bbq - one bread roll only, and no crisps or nuts off the tables beforehand. Then Friday night I’ll stick to meat and salad - no sausages, no cheesecake or icecream but I will have a little chocolate.

Saturday exercise is taken care  of with the race, and afterwards I will make lunch a subway and have fruit as a treat.

Sunday morning I will run for exercise to keep my motivation up, and limit myself to two drinks at the party.

When I am tempted to step outside these rules I will take three deep breaths, and remind myself that the occasion is about the Company - NOT THE FOOD!!! and the food will not improve the occasion.

My catchphrase will be 1- 2- 3 not for me! To remind myself to take three breaths, and that the food might work for others, but it is not for me, it does not work for me, it doesn’t make me feel better, it just makes me feel fat.

This week I lost an entire kilo, taking me from 78.6 to 77.6kgs. I am absolutly stoked - sticking to 1300cals during the week is really working for me, even if I am messing up on the weekends.

I stil have not got my script together for the motivational recording I plan to make, I have to narrow down my long list of sayings and quotes.

in the meantime I am doing pretty well with some relaxation techniques when I hae cravings, and reminding myself that the cravings are just the death throes of the nasty little craving monster inside, and if I can just stick it out, in a few weeks I will never have to feel that way again. Mostly this works quite well.

I’ve never considered myself much of a self-saboteur, just weak- willed. I’ve also never thought that I lacked confidence in my own ability to lose weight. In fact, I’ve often thought with despair of how confident I am at the start of each week’s diet, only to stuff it up by the end of the week, with the result that my weight has fluctuated around 82 for over two years. How many time I was convinced that I’d be slim by summer, or for next summer. How rarely I admitted to myself that unless things changed drastically, I would be this size forever.

This morning I weighed in with the PT again. For a second week in a row, I had a good loss (0.8kg).

After I’d weighed in, I was thinking about how I’d reacted to the realisation that he was going to weigh me each week - with a mixture of anticipation, anxiety, irritation and fear. And I suddenly realised - fear? why fear? I’ll tell you why - because deep down I didn’t believe I could do it.  I was anticipating the time when I would lapse back to my old ways and would have to stand on the scales and explain why I had gained weight. And why irritation? because deep down I wanted to carry on the way I was, Up and down, up and down. It’s what I know.

I think I really need to work on these beliefs. In line with the Thin Commandments, which I read last week, I have been thinking about creating a weight loss motivation MP3, with all my most relevant weight loss sayngs on it to listen to every morning. Perhaps I will include some affirmations on that. In the meantime, I must make more effort to catch negative thinking and turn it around conciously.

On Sunday morning I weighed in, with a loss of 0.8kgs. Not unhappy abot that at all! I’m now down to 78.6. I haven’t seen 78 in quite a while.

I lost the plot completelty for the rest of the day though, ate enough for three people. Oh well.